The Forbidden

Part one

I had just finished college and was back in my home town. I was a Muslim lady from Mombasa town and was studying in Nairobi at KCA University undertaking Bachelor of Commerce for three years. I decided to move back home because I got a job offer at a local firm. Although the pay was not good, it was a stepping stone that I gladly took.

I stayed with my parents while waiting for my first salary to move out. This was not permitted in my culture but I was determined to do it. “A Muslim lady cannot stay on her own before getting married!” my mother objected. “How can you stay on your own? You can’t leave your father’s house if you are not married” she persisted.  But staying on my own in college for the last three years made me realize that I needed my freedom in order to pursue my dreams. That I cannot let the hands of time predict my destiny and my life, so I convinced my dad that this was the best decision for me. Luckily for me, he agreed.

I invited my nephew Salim, to go celebrate my victory with me. We were born the same year so we were age mates. We decided to go to the Nyali beach which was private. Since he had a date for the day, he invited his friend so I won’t be bored.  He arrived few minutes later. “Hi, my name is Yusra and you are late”, I introduced myself. “I am so sorry”, he stammered and introduced himself as Kevin.

After introductions, we headed to the changing rooms so we can go swimming. My nephew was with his date while I was with Kevin. I came out of the changing room wearing a two piece bikini and I could see Kevin’s jaws dropping. “Yap that serves him right!’ I said to myself sheepishly and dived into the waves.

The feeling of the water hitting my body was so refreshing and soon we were splashing each other in the water and laughing loudly.  We would come out of the water, take selfies and go back to swim. It was an afternoon well spent. I had a good time with Kevin despite the fact that we came from two different worlds. He was a Christian from a Luo community while I was a Muslim from the conservative coastal island of Pemba.

 As we were heading home, I asked Kevin “Hey, will you come to my graduation party next week in Nairobi?” He looked deep into my eyes and answered “I would not miss it for the world”.

 Right there and then, I knew this was only the beginning of something I could not deny myself.

Part two

We never exchanged numbers but I knew that could not have stopped him from finding me. Two days to my graduation I received a face book request from Kevin. “Hi, long time no see. Is graduation still on?” a message followed immediately after. I was beyond joy but I decided to play it cool, so I text back “yeah, not thinking of bailing, are you?” He quickly types “and miss the history making moment? I have to work a double shift to make it but I will definitely see you there.” I then remember of the photos we took at the beach and tag him in one where he was caught by camera checking me out while scratching his head. I captioned it “The million dollar question?” I smile to myself and book tickets for me and my nephew Salim.

Salim and I arrive in Nairobi and head straight to the graduation ceremony along Thika Road in Ruaraka. I say hi to my classmates and introduce my nephew to them. We chit chat while patiently waiting for Kevin to arrive. We had not travelled together with him since he was still at work. He was travelling immediately after his shift.

The ceremony was coming to an end when Kevin arrived, but I was happy that he was here. I was only celebrating with my nephew Salim, my family could not make it and the fact that he took his time from his busy schedule to come was beyond appreciated.  We hugged, took photos with my classmates and friends and since we were all alone, we were invited to Kitengela by my classmate for a post-graduation party.  We end up having a good time with my friend’s family till late in the evening and had to excuse ourselves to leave since we were all travelling back to Mombasa the same night.

We made it on time to catch our bus. I sit with Kevin while Salim sits behind us. As we were waiting for the bus to leave, Salim receives a call and goes outside the bus. Few minutes later, Salim calls me and says “Brian is here and wants to see you”. I was speechless for a minute before I told him “As far as I am concerned, he is dead to me”. Kevin looks at me with bewilderment and asks “Who is Brian?”

Part three

I looked at him straight in the eyes and said “He is an ex-boyfriend”.  Right then my phone vibrates signaling I have a call, I check and the screen displays Brian. I leave it unanswered but he persists calling until I hear the question “aren’t you going to answer that?” I say “No”. Kevin then grabs the phone from my hands and says “hello! Who is this and how may I help you?”  I hear him telling Brian that he can leave a message if he wishes. He then disconnects the call. I am left speechless and embarrassed due to the drama unfolding before my eyes. So I remain silent and the bus leaves for Mombasa.

Kevin breaks the uncomfortable silence and tells me “Hey, we came here to celebrate, let us not make this drama spoil it.  We can talk about Brian whenever you are ready”. I sigh in relief and tell him “We might as well talk about it and close the part”. So I look ahead and narrates to him about Brian.

It was freshman year when we met. I was new in Nairobi and didn’t have a lot of friends and coming from a different culture made it difficult for me to make any. Everything was different, from the food, dressing, and even the language. I spoke fluent Swahili and English while most of the people spoke sheng. I did not know my way around town and whenever I asked my female friends to take me, they were always busy with their own stuff. Brian would take me places and never said no whenever I needed someone to take me somewhere. He was a charmer and soon I was falling in love with him. We dated during my time in college but it was a rocky relationship. There were other women around and would sometimes even call my number to abuse me. I would get mad and call it off with Brian. He would come back on his knees crying, begging, promising and even swearing that it was not true. I did not have friends of my own that I would talk to and go have fun when am not in class. I would spend most of the weekends alone watching movies.  After sometime, I would still take him back but deep down I knew this was a doomed relationship and I needed to leave him for good. I just had to gather the courage.

During my last semester, I completed my thesis early because I was attending my cousin’s wedding in Pemba. I took it to the dean but they said they were not collecting it yet. “But I am going back to my hometown, “I persisted but the answer was no. So I gave it to Brian with clear instructions to deliver it before the deadline.  I was off for my holiday! Yey! All the time I was on holiday, I would remind Brian about my thesis and he promised that he had delivered it in time, so there was no need to worry.

The shock was on me when results were out. I had passed all my exams except project because my thesis was not handed in! I could not believe Brian had the nerve to do this to me. So I call him. “Hi my dear, how are you” he answers. “Well, that depends on whether I am graduating this year or not”, I say. “What do you mean? Of course we are graduating!” he jokes. So I ask him “did you hand over my thesis? Because results are out and I failed that specific subject.” He goes silent for a minute before answering “of course I did! I swear I did! Why would I do that to you? I will go there tomorrow to clarify everything, “he promises.

I waited but there was no feedback from him and I knew I had been played. I cut my holiday short to go to Nairobi and sort the issue myself. I arrive in Nairobi the following day and heads to the dean’s office and explain the situation to him. He asks me “Are you sure he delivered because according to our records, we have not received it”. I call Brian and ask him the name of the person that he gave my thesis to. He is surprised that I am in Nairobi. “Are you at KCA now?’ he enquires and I tell him yes. He then says “ok, wait for me am coming”.

He shows up thirty minutes later. When I saw what he was holding in his hands, my heart shattered into a million pieces and I just broke down crying. “Why! Why!” I kept shouting at him. The dean then asks me to write a letter explaining what happened before he could accept my thesis. I took a pen and a paper and penned down the events then signed it off. I gave it to the dean who also signed it .I walked out of the office.

I did not know where I was going to but I just needed to get out of there. I rushed to the stage to catch a leaving matatu to take me anywhere but here.  “Yusra! Yusra! Wait!” I hear my name being called but I do not stop, I already knew who it was. As I reached the stage, a hand grabs me and says “hey, let me explain please” Brian says crying and kneeling down in front of me. People already gather to see what is happening. I look at him in his eyes and tell him “there is nothing in this world that you could possibly say to me that will change my mind”. I quickly board a matatu and leave him there.

Part four

“That was the last straw that broke the camel’s back”, I said to Kevin. “I came back to Mombasa and I have not spoken to him since”.

“Wow that is quite a story”.

“I know it is a mess and I will understand if you decide to stay away”

“Who said anything about staying away, I am just getting started!” he grins and kisses me on the lips.

This catches me unawares but I quickly recover and kiss him back, savoring the taste of mint in his mouth. I feel butterflies in my stomach and I do not care if Salim is watching us or any other worries I may have had. We kissed until we ran out for breath.

We arrived in Mombasa at the wee hours of the morning and Kevin said goodbye immediately and leaves alone. I am left with Salim and we go home together silently.

One week later, I moved into my new home. I was sharing a two bedroom apartment with a roommate. My mother did not accept it but there was nothing she could do since my dad already agreed. I said goodbye to my parents and hello to my new home! I just had a bed and a mattress, a dressing table I had bought a while back while on my trip in Dar es Salaam Tanzania and kitchen utensils which were enough to get me started.

Salim and Kevin came to see me in my new home and suggested we go out and celebrate. I agreed and quickly change to go out.  We grab our drinks and join the party until late at night. They dropped me off and we said goodbye. I changed into my sleeping pajamas and fall right asleep.

I woke up in the morning still sleepy. I dragged myself to the bathroom for a quick shower before heading to work. I grabbed my phone to leave and that’s when I saw several missed calls from Kevin. I called back.

“Hey”, he immediately answers

“Hey, what’s up?”

“Nothing much, I just wanted us to talk… Just you and me”.

“Ok, can we meet in the evening then, because am headed to work right now”.

“That’s ok. See you later”

“Bye”.

I am swarmed with a thousand questions on what he wanted to talk about. Nothing seemed off the previous night and we all had a wonderful time. I tried not to think about it during the day but I couldn’t. I was nervous and anxious. “There is only one way to find out,” I said to myself as I pack my stuff to go home in the evening.

Part five

I got home, showered then changed into something comfortable. I applied little make up and wait for Kevin to show up. There was a knock at the door and I jumped to answer it. I came face to face with a 6ft tall dark man wearing khaki shorts and a Spiderman t-shirt holding a bowl of ice-cream and chocolate.

“Kevin!” I smiled at him and invited him in. “Thanks for the chocolate and ice-cream”, I said sitting down next to him.

“You are welcome”

“Well, what did you want to talk about”, I quickly address the elephant in the room.

“Well, this is harder than I thought! Hahaha” he laughs but still continue. “I guess you already know how much I like you. No, scratch that. How much I really like you. I was blown away by your beauty the first time I me you. Honestly, I was not even planning to show up that day, I could not imagine myself babysitting Salim’s old aunty! But I am glad I did because I got to meet the most amazing, beautiful and intelligent lady I have ever met. You are so different from the other Swahili ladies I have known and that’s what attracted me to you the most.  I know that all the odds are against us, starting from you being my best friend’s aunt, to religion, culture and all, but will you be girlfriend?” he held my hands and asked me.

I was left speechless. I did not say anything for a whole five minutes. A thousand things were running through my mind.

“Hey, say something!” Kevin shakes me.

“I like you too! But it is too soon to be in a relationship again considering I recently broke up with Brian. I need to find my inner me before committing again. Can we be friends first, you know get each other?” I said and then add “with benefits”.

Part six

Kevin would call at least three times in a day to inquire about my day. If we were not talking on phone, then we were chatting till late at night. He would visit my place so often and we would spend most of our free time together. He was caring and loving, always saying the right words at the right time and soon we could not spend a day without talking to each other. Even though I went on a few dates with other people, they did not meet my expectations and I would always find myself thinking about Kevin.

One day, I received a call from Salim that my older sister was in town. She lived abroad and had come visiting. So I called Salim to speak to her, I did not know she was in town because we had not spoken for a while.

“Hi, how are you!” I say over the phone excited.

“What do you want Yusra?” My sister, Hadija, replied harshly.

“Well, I wanted to speak to you and apologize for whatever happened between us. We are sisters bound by blood and nothing should come between us. Let bygones be bygones”.

“Well, as far as I come concerned, you are no longer my sister and I do not want to speak to you again!” she said to me.

I disconnect the call and tears started running down my cheeks. I wipe them away with the back of my hand but more tears cloud my eyes. I called the only person that comes to my mind.

“Hi, Can you come over please?’ I said on the receiver.

“Are you ok?”

“No”

“I am on my way”.

I switch off my phone and wait for him.

Kevin arrived at my place 15mins later and found me crying on the bed. Without saying anything, he took me in his arms and hugged me. I cried silently in his arms until I could not anymore.

We sit silently the whole afternoon just staring at the ceiling. After a while, Kevin asks me “do you want to talk about it now?”

“It is my sister, she is in town and we have not spoken for a while. I called her through Salim’s phone but she said she does not recognize me as her sister. She never wants to speak to me again”, I explain.

“Do you know why”, Kevin asked.

“Yes I think so”

“And…..”

“All my expenses in college were paid through someone called Munir. He is my sister’s a friend. “

Part seven

“My sister is 12years older than me”, I explained to Kevin.

She got married and moved to England when I was young, eight years old I remember. I am a second last born in a family of eight and all my siblings are much older than me. My parents gave birth to me and my last born sister when they were old. That’s why you see Salim is my age mate. She took me through secondary school until I completed my KCSE and passed. However, I could not pursue further education due to financial constraint so I was at home for two years assisting my other older sister with her business.

One day, my sister Hadija calls me and tells me she found someone who was willing to pay for my college tuition. I was thrilled and over the moon! My dreams were finally coming through. In the two years I had been at home, I had to refuse marriage proposals that came my way and I knew it was only a matter of time before I could no longer say no.

Hadija was coming back to Kenya for holiday soon. We were going to talk more then. She arrived weeks later and we were all so happy. She was now staying in a rented cottage.

She then explains to me that she met Munir on an online platform where they were both members. They shared a last name and that had spiked an interest in both of them which resulted in chatting and soon they became friends. He was a Canadian living and working in Dar es Salaam Tanzania where he had his own company. He had asked her what she does for a living and she had said she does not have a stable job. They had then discussed about family and that’s when my name came up. She told him I could not further my education because of finances. Out of blue and unexpected, Munir suggested he will pay for it!

So here we were, Hadija and I, on our way to Dar es Salaam Tanzania meet Munir. A man we have never met. A man willing to change our lives for nothing in return.

Part eight

We arrived in Dar es Salaam and my cousin, Cheo, who lives there picked us up and took us to his house. We were exhausted from the 12 hours bus ride from Mombasa to Dar es Salaam.  We went straight to bed after showering and eating supper.

We were meeting Munir the following day for lunch. He gave us direction to his office and we were there early. I was nervous and anxious at the same time.  I did not know what to expect. I was praying that this was not a sick joke that would rip open my heart and tear away my hopes. Munir did not keep us waiting for long. He came out of his office soon to greet us.

He was an Indian-African man who looked young and fit for his 60 year age. He was smartly dressed in an official office attire of checked shirt and khaki trouser with matching black shoes. He smiled at us and extended a hand to Hadija “It is a pleasure to finally meet you in person” he says to her. “And you must the young Yusra” he says to me. I smile back and extend my hand to meet his. “Shall we?” we follow him out of the building.

A blue Mercedes comes around and he opens the door for us. He whispers to the driver and soon we were driving off.  I watch silently as Hadija and Munir make small chitchats, mostly on her trip from England to Mombasa then to Dar. At the corner of my eyes, I see Munir stealing glances at me but I pretend to play with my phone. We soon arrive at a five star restaurant.

We take our seats at a table near a balcony. By this time, my sister Hadija is relaxed and chatting nonstop to Munir who responds with a comment or a laugh as we wait for our orders to arrive.

“So Yusra, have you ever been outside Kenya”, Munir throws me off guide by asking me a question.

“Umm yes, the furthest I have gone is Tanzania since we have relatives here”, I reply politely.

Our food arrives and the conversation is drifted to other topics, we talk about food, culture, politics and the rest. We taste each other’s food and soon we were all relaxed.

“So what would you like to pursue? I had told your sister that I would like to sponsor your education”, the conversation starred back to me.

“Well, I always wanted to be an airhostess, you know visit different cities and still get paid for it”, I say.

“No, that is not a respectable career. It is not as fancy as you think you know.” I am soon discouraged.

“What about piloting?”

“That is a very good choice. However, it is very expensive.”

“My third option is accounting and finance”

“That’s very good! I suggest you look for a college and email me the details as soon as possible!”

“Thank you so much! I am forever grateful”, I say with tears of happiness in my eyes.

I got up and hugged my sister and we cry tears of joy.

“Don’t I get a hug too?” Munir asked looking at us.

“Of course!”

I hug him and he hugs me back tighter until I feel like suffocating. He then whispers something that only I could hear. “You smell so good.”

Part nine

We left the restaurant and Munir asked the driver to drop us at our cousin’s place. He is dropped back at the office while we gave the address to the driver.  We never saw Munir again as it was a short stay. But we return home happy and excited! I never told my sister about the restaurant incident.

I immediately send out my college applications in the hope of getting accepted as soon as possible but I don’t any that was willing to take me halfway through the semester. I inform Munir that I had been advised to wait until the following year.

“Why don’t you apply outside Mombasa? Nairobi perhaps” he encourages.

“But that is too far. Besides, I don’t have any relatives that I can stay with in Nairobi”

“Don’t worry about that, you can stay in a hostel. Is there someone that can go with you to inquire? Of course I will pay for the trip”

“Really!’

“Yes”.

So I told my friend Belinda about it and she was more than willing to take me. She knew people in Nairobi who would help us move around. It was a girl’s trip and we were excited!  We packed our bags and soon were happily boarding a bus to Nairobi, the city of hustlers.

The trip with Belinda was amazing.  We were like children on a school trip. We chatted, took selfies and laughed at our own stories. We arrive in Nairobi and Alex, Belinda’s friend was there to pick us up. He was friendly and a gentleman and carried our bags all the way to his house in Kasarani. He was free the following day and would take us to the several campuses he knew.  We cooked and ate dinner at his place. He insisted we sleep in the bedroom while he was going to crash on his couch.

We were soon introduced to the roommate. A guy who was coming back from work. I looked at Belinda with worried eyes. It was now too late to go looking for a hotel. I said my silent prayer and Belinda and I head off to the bedroom and leave the two men alone. 

I locked the door behind me.

“Why are you locking the door?” Belinda inquired.

“Ummmm so we don’t get raped by two men in the sitting room….”

“They can’t do that”

“Really? And how well do you know this Alex guy?”

“He used to date my cousin Joan but this is the first time am meeting him”

“Well then, the door stays locked!” I insisted then grab a lighter that was nearby.

“What’s the lighter for?”

“In case they try to break the door at night to rape us. Then we can burn down the house!”

We look at each other and roar with laughter.

Part ten

The two men were true gentlemen and never did anything to us. Alex took us to several campuses where I delivered my applications. KCA agreed to enroll me mid-semester. We were all ecstatic and head to town for a quick sightseeing before going back to Mombasa that night.

Belinda called another one of her friends who studied at UON, Ben. He did not have classes that day so he showed up. Belinda said hello and hugged him. I followed suit and did the same.  We ended up in a restaurant for a quick snack and drinks. I later learnt that Ben did IT at the university and lived in Buruburu with his family.

“I can show you around the city when you come. Just give me a call”, Ben said to me and we soon exchange numbers. I was grateful that I knew at least two people already who were more than willing to show me around the city.  We hang out a little bit more before Belinda announced that she wanted to leave.

“Ok, we need to go back to Kasarani and get ready to leave anyway”, I said.

“I will come with you”, Ben volunteered.

On our way back, Belinda sat with Alex while Ben sat with me. They were all quiet while we were talking and laughing out loudly. We got to Alex’s place where we packed out bags and got ready to leave for Mombasa. We said goodbye to Alex at the door and I personally thank him for hosting us by slipping in hand one thousand shilling note without anyone noticing. Ben took us to the bus station.

I noticed that all this time Belinda was quiet and spoke only when spoken to. She was not her usual chatty self.

“Are you ok?” I asked her

“Yeah, am fine” she replied.

“Is it Ben? Are you annoyed that he has taken a liking to me? Do you like him?” I asked Belinda.

“No, you can marry him for all I care”.

I keep quiet and pretend I didn’t hear the last comment. We say our goodbye to Ben and board the bus to Mombasa. In the bus, Belinda removed her shawl, tilted her seat, covered herself and slept straight away. She woke up when we arrive in Mombasa eight hours later.

“I am waiting for someone to pick me, you go right ahead” she informed me as we were collecting our bags. She then heads the opposite direction. I look at her walking away and realize that I had just lost my best friend. I took my bag and went home alone.

Part eleven

I informed Munir of the good news as soon as soon as I got back home. I gave him a breakdown of what was required and the relevant costs. He promised to send me the money before end of week.

I informed my parents about my progress and the plans of moving to Nairobi. They were horrified and could not understand why I could not just attend one in Mombasa. Nairobi was a big city and I was a small girl on her own. They had heard terrible stories about Nairobi and were reluctant to let me go. I explained to them that time was of essence, that I needed to enroll to a school before my sponsor changed his mind.

True to his words, Munir sent me one thousand dollars by the end of the week. This was to cater for installment fees, hostel and any other miscellaneous expenses I might incur when relocating to the new town. I was flabbergasted, I had never been given so much money in my life! This was all a dream that I did not want to wake up from. But Alas! It was not and soon I had packed my suitcase and was saying goodbye to my family. I called Alex and Ben to pick me up at the bus station in the morning.

I alighted from the bus and was relieved to see Alex waiting for me. I hugged and thank him for showing up so early in the morning. Ben was still at home getting ready so I informed him that I was leaving with Alex.

Alex took me to the university where I made my payments and filled out all the necessary paperwork. I was advised of the hostels close to the campus and I chose one and headed there to make my payments. I am issued with a receipt and welcomed by the owner.

For the few weeks that followed, Alex and Ben helped me adjust to the new city. Belinda never spoke to me again. I was a curious one who loved to explore and would always call Ben or Alex, whoever was available. But soon they were both busy and I ended up hanging out more with Brian.

Munir would always check on me to ensure I was comfortable. He suggested I maintain an excel sheet to account for all the money he had sent me.  “For record keeping”, he insisted. I did not mind, I created an excel sheet and posted all my expenses there and would send it to him every month. He would send me money randomly even when I did not ask for it. I never misused the money and always ended up having excess. 

“Don’t tell you sister how much I am giving you” he told me one day.

“Why”

“So she does not feel obligated to repay me”

“Ok”

“And I want you to use the money I am giving you. Go to the saloon and get your hair done. Buy whatever you need to maintain yourself.  When you feel good and self-confident, you concentrate on your studies. I don’t want you worrying about money or anything else except passing and graduating.”

He was true to his word and financed all my expenses. He threw a fit when he knew I had saved up some cash so I stopped. I decided to enjoy myself while it lasted, little did I know that this was his way of controlling me. To ensure I solely depended on him. That I would always go back to him for more. That I would do anything he asks of me.

Part twelve

Despite my fooling around in campus, I always made sure I handed over all my assignments in time and passed all my exams. My eyes were always on the prize-the degree certificate. Munir sent me money through someone the whole of my first year in college. I would easily pass off as his relative since we shared a last name.

The school required me to go for attachment after I completed my first year. I was informed that I could go anywhere as long as it was East Africa. Munir invited me have my internship at his company in Dar es Salaam and I accepted. I stayed in Dar es Salaam for three months with my cousin Cheo.

One day, Munir and I went out for lunch. We talked about school, my dreams and hopes after graduation, family. I told him that I was the only one in my family that had taken an interest in school. My younger sister who was the last born had dropped out in class four and joined Islamic studies.

He informed me that his family lived back in Canada and that he lives alone in Dar es Salaam. All his kids were older and the last born was in college just like me. The conversation then took a different turn when I was asked “Do you have a boyfriend?”

“No”

“I find that hard to believe, you know”

“Well, it’s true”

“You are very beautiful”

“Thank you” I said uncomfortably.

“I want to say something and am not sure how you will take it”

“Here we go…..” I said to myself as I looked at him

“Whatever we discuss here will not affect my sponsorship with you, I will keep my promise to the end. I really like you, you know. I can no longer ignore my attraction towards you and since my wife is not around, I need someone to make me feel loved and special. I am a respectable man who cannot be seen misbehaving around and your sister trusts me to take care of you. Here is my proposition to you. I want to secretly marry you, get you an apartment and take care of you. In return you also take care of me. No one should know that we are married not even your family, so that when the right guy comes along, I can secretly divorce, then you marry him.”

Part thirteen

I looked at him with bewildered eyes. No words formed in my mouth due to shock and insanity of the man’s proposal. I just sat there silently looking at him.

“Don’t look so worried, it is not difficult.” He tells me

“Why? Have you done it before?” the cat finally let go of my tongue.

“Yes, there was this lady called Mariam that I really liked and we agreed to do it. I paid for her apartment and all her expenses. We didn’t meet every day for I am a busy man plus I travel a lot. “

“What happened?”

“Well, I found out that she was cheating on me with other men bringing them to the apartment. So I ended it with her”

“Did your wife know?”

“Of course no. she would have killed both of us!”

I sat there waiting for him to say that it was some sick joke. That he was toying with my mind. That he cared for me like his own daughter or granddaughter. But the words that came next made me realize that he was damn serious. “Remember, your response will not affect your sponsorship. I will still pay for your college till the end”.

I then looked at him and a thousand questions ran through my mind at ones. I examine his face, even though the years had been kind to him, the wrinkles on his face were visible. He was not bald but his hair was a mixture of black and grey hair. He was still in good shape but I wondered how long that would last.

Will I have my own apartment with designer clothes and expensive perfumes? I could assist my family and pull them out of the claws of poverty. Do I want to jeopardize my education right now after I have reached this far? Only two years remained. Do I want to marry secretly without my family’s knowledge? Do I want to spend my prime years with a man old enough to be my father? What would happen if I say no? What would happen if I say yes? How will this even work? What will people say?

This was a decision of a life time and there were no second chances in living. I could choose to live my life to the fullest the way I wanted with no regrets or allow other people dictate it. The choice was mine to make.

“Don’t think about it too hard. I didn’t mean to stress you. In fact, forget I said anything ok?” Munir pulled me out of my trance.

“No, I have my answer”.

Part fourteen

“You do?” Munir asked surprised.

“Yes, and my answer is no.” I said and watched his reaction.

He seemed surprised by my answer, like he was sure I would happily agree to his proposal. That I would be okay with just being the other woman. That I would stay in a loveless marriage for the sake of money.

“I am young and want to make all those stupid mistakes young people make. I want to feel love. I want to be independent and have control of my own life. I want my mistakes to be my fault so that when I pray to God for forgiveness, it will because I am truly sorry I did it”.

“Independent lady, yes? Ok then, I respect your answer even though I won’t lie that I am heartbroken. I guess I am too old to love” he responded jokingly.

“It’s nothing personal”.

I was relieved that we both behaved like mature adults and did not embarrass each other at the restaurant. I was also glad that the conversation had ended and we were soon leaving. The driver dropped him off first before me. I was quiet during the whole ride hoping and praying that he would still pay for my college.

He never stopped paying for the fees but the tack ticks of giving me the money changed.  He would insist on me travelling all the way to where he was working from for me to obtain the money directly from him. He would get touchy and tell me how lonely he was but never force himself on me. And I would go just because I did not have any other choice. 

I told my two sisters about the marriage proposal. His friend Hadija and the one I used to live with before I started college. They just laughed it off and never took it as an offence. To them, he was God sent and he could whatever he wished as long as he paid for all my college expenses. My father and my sisters were happy as long as the money kept flowing. In fact I was given an example of Celine Dion and her late husband Rene’. I knew that my degree certificate was my only way out.

Unfortunately during my last year in college, Munir’s company was under investigation and was facing financial challenges. I panicked and could not imagine that I have come this far for me not to finish my last semester in college. I informed my sister Hadija with hopes that she may chip in, but she never did. In fact, she stopped talking to me altogether and went ahead to block my number without saying anything to me. I only realized the reason when I spoke to Munir.

“Your sister Hadija asked how much I was giving you. So I sent her the excel file which has all the money I gave you and how you spent it.”

“Why would you do that when you were the one who specifically told me not to tell her?”

“She asked me about it”

“Well, I guess that’s why she has stopped talking to then. Because I had turned to her for help when you told me you were facing financial challenges and I was afraid I will not be able to finish the semester.”

“I am sure that is not the case”

Munir never realized the magnitude of what he did until it was too late. Eight years later and Hadija has still has not spoken to me and after my first apology where she denied me being her sister, I stopped caring. Munir’s influence to get us to talk proved futile and he soon gave up. My family could not understand what had happened between us and neither could I explain, so I left it to her to fill the gaps. My sister and I have never met again since.

Part fifteen

Kevin did not judge my relationship with my family. Hadija came for holiday in Kenya and my whole family would go visit her at the hotel, but I never did and the fact that I had already moved out saved me a whole lot trouble when she came visiting at home. Boy was I glad that I was not in her way! I would spend most of my time with Kevin who had become a part of my life without me realizing. I was at work when he sent me a message

Hi my dear. I hope that you are well.  I miss you already even though we just parted ways in the morning. You have been so stressed lately especially with your sister being around. I want to take you out of town for the weekend, so you can just relax and enjoy yourself. All I need from you is to say yes and leave everything to me.

I just stared at the phone knowing very well I did not deserve such a caring person. I had done nothing but friend zone him, with benefits of course for the last six months but he still held hopes that he would eventually make a decent woman out of me.

“What are you staring at so absent mindedly?” my cubemate who was sitting next to me asked.

I showed her the text without saying anything.

“I would do anything to have someone care for me like this”, she said returning the phone to me.

I took it without saying anything and text a reply.

I would love to go out of town with you. Thank you. I hit send.

The weekend could not have arrived earlier. I wait excitedly at my door for Kevin to pick me up and soon we were on our way to Malindi. I tried to inquire on where exactly we were going but he only replied that it was a surprise. Two hours later, we arrived at the most beautiful place I could ever imagine. It was an apartment surrounded by well-kept trees and flowers with a swimming pool at the center. It had a restaurant and a bar for those who wished to be served indoors. It was breathtaking.

“This is so beautiful!” I said while hugging him. Thank you! I gave him a kiss.

“Anything for the beautiful lady who holds the keys to my heart”

The weekend was the best I had ever had for years. We visited the beach, the museum, the best restaurant in town, the night clubs and soon it was time to go home.

“I am ready to be your girlfriend officially” I told Kevin.

Part sixteen

My relationship with Kevin was blissful.  He was the best boyfriend I could ever pray for. We spent most of our time together and he would always check up on me. One day he fell sick and I had to meet his parent. Even though it was for a brief moment, they were very polite and welcoming.

As soon as he felt better, I told him that we needed to talk about the future.

“Is there a next step in this relationship or are just having fun?” I inquired.

“Why?”

“Because if this is more to this than just dating, then we need to talk about our differences. Culture, tribe, religion. We need to discuss it at an earlier stage in our relationship so we don’t end up wasting each other’s time.”

“OK. Let us talk about it because my heart is all in, Are you sure you have not bewitched me? Whenever I say my girlfriend is from Pemba, I always get a pat on my shoulder” he joked.

“Well, that’s because I called my grandfather in Pemba and we have put you in a bottle there. So you are now bowing in all my commands. Try something funny and see!” I teased him.

“About religion, I know you guys are very strict on that. Your family will never allow you to marry outside your religion. And my family are strict Christian, especially my mum. They will never accept me worshiping any other religion.”

“Honestly, it will be very hard for my family to accept you but I can compensate on the tribe and culture and convince them. But am not sure about the religion. I want to raise my children in one religion and I do not wish to convert to Christianity. So why don’t take your time and learn about the religion then let me know about your decision? You should convert entirely because you want to”.

Kevin started learning about the religion slowly by slowly while we were still dating. I would visit his parents as often as I could and they accepted that I was a Muslim girlfriend. The fact that I was graduate and independent erased any fears or doubts that they may had towards me. We dated for five years without once getting into a fight or breaking up.

One day, I received a text.

Hi. I am coming to Mombasa tomorrow, can we meet?

I looked at the text and the familiar number before I decided to reply.

Yes, sure

Ok I can’t wait to see you.

I did not bother replying.

Part seventeen

“Tell me again why you need to go for this meeting?” Kevin kept asking.

“Because I need closure. “ I simply explained.

“You do want me to come with you?”

“No, I will be ok on my own”.

“OK let me know in case you need anything. You know am always here for you”

“Yes dear”

We said our goodbyes before I went to sleep. I was awoken by my phone ringing at 12AM. I picked it up without checking who it was.

“Hello”. I answered in my sleepy voice.

“Hi. Sorry for waking you up. I just wanted to tell you am at.”

“Ok” I disconnected the call and switched it off. Mtito Andei

I fell back to sleep straight away only waking up when the sun was already out. It was 9Am in the morning.

I switch on my phone to find 30 missed calls and 20 messages.

“Am here at the bus station. Where are you? Are you coming to pick me up? Why are you not answering my calls?”  The messages had a desperate tone to them.

I dialed the number and it was picked on the second ring.

“Hi! I have been here since 5Am in the morning. Why have you not been picking my calls?”

“That’s because I was asleep. It is what we do at night”

“But you knew I was on my way. I thought you would pick me up at the bus station?”

“Well, you thought wrong. I was not going to drop everything for you. Besides, you know Mombasa since you had come here on your own before, so you should not have difficulty moving around” I retorted with sarcasm.

“Ok fine. Is there somewhere we can sit and talk? I am still sitting here at the bus station in the waiting lounge. “

“We can talk at Mama Ngina drive. It’s a park and has a nice view. It is also convenient for me, I have other plans.”

“That is fine. Can you pick me please? I really do not know where that place is”

“Agggrrr! Fine! I will be there in 30 mins”

I take my sweet time before I leave for the bus station.

 I found him seated there alone. He looked tired and weary but still made an effort to smile at me when he saw me.

“Hi Yusra, long time no see. You look beautiful than ever.”

Part eighteen

“Hi Brian”

Just then the lady who was manning the lounge asked him. “Is this who you have been waiting for?”

“Yes, thank you for letting me wait here” Brian replied her.

“Ok then let’s go” I say and head out.

We ride silently to mama ngina and find a spot to sit.

“So, how have you been? You look good by the way” he said to me.

“Thank you.”

“This place is so beautiful. It has good scenery. I can stay here the whole day”

“Sure, but you will stay here on your own. I am not staying here for more than an hour. “

“Are you still mad after all this time? I apologized a hundred times and you still have not forgiven me?”

“No, you apologized but never told me why you did it. And I agreed to meet you so I can ask you in person. Why did you not deliver my thesis even after reminding you so many times? I had worked hard on it and you knew it”

He just looked at me hopelessly and buried his face in his hands.

“I messed up and I am sorry”

“I do not want an apology. I want an answer”

He looked at me with tears in his eyes.

“I am so sorry baby, I never wanted it to be like that”

“What were you hoping for when you kept lying to me through your teeth?”

“I really don’t know, I never thought it would escalate this far”

“I bet you thought it will be like all the other times? When I would still forgive you for after your mess? You knew I was under scholarship yet you still jeopardize my chances of graduating that year? “

“I realize now how stupid I was and I am apologizing from the deepest part of my heart” he knelt down in front of me.

I stood there and just looked at him. I realized that he was a bedbug who only lived from sucking people without care or concern. That he was just selfish and never cared about who got hurt in the process. That I needed to cut him off my life completely or else, he would crawl his way and suck everything within his reach until there is nothing left. He was a pest and I needed to flush him out.

“Since we have that cleared out. I am leaving and please do not call or text me again. I never want to hear or see you again in my life”

He looked at me with bewildered eyes. In all his crazy imagination of how the events would turn out, he never expected me to take a stand like that. He stood there for a whole five minutes debating on what to say to me and when he saw the determined look on my face, he knew there was no way he could convince me otherwise.

“OK I respect your decision. Can you at least do me one little favor for all times sake? Can I please go to your house so I can shower and change clothes?”

I look straight at his face to try and read his thoughts. I point out to a white house a few meters from us. It was a light house used to guide big ships into the shorelines of Mombasa.

“Do you see that white house over there? He nodded a yes. “You can get a toilet and a shower for 20 shillings. You are crazy if you think am letting you near my house. Goodbye Brian.”

I got into a tuktuk and left without a backward glance.

Part nineteen

“Well, how did it go?” Kevin inquired as soon as I stepped in the room.

“He did not have a reason. I told him never to call me again”

That night, we went out to celebrate. I wore a purple dress with a white belt and matching shoes. Immediately we arrived, I ordered my drink, left my wallet with Kevin and headed to the dance floor. I danced to all the songs that were played and only left to get a sip from my drink. I caught the bewildered couples sitting next to us but I did not give a damn. Kevin just gave out a laugh and said to them “she is celebrating”.

We then head over to my house and I showed Kevin all night long how happy I really was.

We woke up late that morning for obvious reasons and spend the day just lazing around the house and watching movies. Kevin insisted we go out for dinner. I quickly showered and changed before we headed out. We have our dinner at our favorite place and enjoy each other’s’ company.

Before we leave the restaurant, Kevin took both my hands and held them before kissing them and saying “I do not know what I will do without you in my life”

“Aaahh that’s easy. You will find a pretty woman who will make you happier than you are now and give you nine children as you want!” I joked

“No, I am serious Yusra. You complete me. Believe me when I tell you I will never love another woman after you. I already told my mum that you are the woman for me, and if it is not you, then it is no one”.

“And what did she say?”

“That if I was ready to convert to Islam because your family will not allow it”

“Hahaha! She is right about that one!”

“I am ready to be a Muslim, marry you and spent the rest of my life with you.”

“Are you sure about this? Once we take that road there is no going back.”

“I have never been so sure in my whole life.” he then dropped on one knee and asked “Yusra, will you marry me?”

Part twenty

A thousand scenarios ran through my mind on how my family will react. They have accepted all my rebellious actions and compensated with the fact that I had at least become independent and made a name for myself. But marrying outside my culture and religion was going to be a big blow to them.

“Am kind of stuck here” Kevin pulled me out of my thoughts.

“Of course yes!” I was going to deal my family afterwards.

I started with my strongest supporter, my dad. I told him I was in love and wanted to get married.

“Ok, tell him to come with his people” he said casually.

“The issue is he is a Christian from the Luo community” I decided to cut right to the chase.

“And is he willing to marry you as a Muslim?”

“Yes” I replied eagerly.

“I see no problem then. There are other people that we know that have done the same. Just let me know in advance when he coming with his people.”

One down, a thousand to go! I went to talk to my mum.

“Mum, your prayers have been answered. I want to get married!” I said to her.

“Alhamdulillah! That’s is so great my daughter! For once I thought you were possessed with mpenzi jini (demon) who did not want you to get married” she laughed.

“I guess not!

“So who is the lucky guy? Do I know him?”

“No, you don’t know him. But you need to have an open mind Ma.” I warned before dropping the bombshell. “He is a Christian from Luo community who is converting to Islam.”

“What! You can’t do that! What will people say?”

“Mum, I don’t care what people say”

“But I do care!” she raised her hands and started pacing up around.

“Are you willing to put my happiness at risk because of what people will say?”

That got her to calm down.

“I want to see him before anything else” she finally said.

Part twenty one

“Am so nervous”

“Don’t worry everything is going to be fine”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, am sure my mum would love you! Now let’s go!” I said to Kevin and started walking out. I did not want him to see that I was nervous too. He followed closely behind.

Soon we got home and I first introduce him to my dad who sat outside our house. They exchanged pleasantries and my dad introduces himself as “the king of the house”. I stood there silently watching. “I want to go and have some kahawa tungu with the wazee, do you have some change?” he asked Kevin. “Well, that did not take long,” I said to myself and smile as Kevin fumbled with his wallet. We head inside to see my mother.

I invited Kevin to the sitting and went to fetch her. She came in and Kevin got up to greet him.

“Welcome” she said to him.

“Thank you”

“So, you want to marry my daughter?” she went straight to the point!

“Yes ma’am”

“Are you aware of our cultures and religion?”

“Yes ma’am”

“Are you sure you want to leave your culture and religion behind? What do your parents say about this marriage proposal?”

“I already told them and they have accepted it. I love your daughter very much and I am willing to do anything to make her happy”

“One last thing. We as Muslims bury our dead immediately. We do not put them in mortuaries. Are you okay with that as well?”

That question got both of off guard. Who expects to be asked about death when you are barely married!

“Come on ma! That too much” I had to intervene before she gave him a heart attack!

“No, we need to be on the same page now. God forbid but I don’t want to hear him saying he is taking you to mortuary!” she insisted.

“Yes ma’am. I understand perfectly”

“And?”

“I will be the best husband to your daughter that it will even make you jealous!” he joked and I was relieved to see my mum laugh.

“Aalililiiiii!! Harusi tunayo hatunayo! Tunayooooo!”

Part twenty two

I was not a fan of big weddings and never really attended any unless it was a close family or friend. My sisters knew I never wanted a wedding, if it were up to me, I would visit the Attorney General’s office and just sign the marriage certificate. But my sisters were insistent, so I agreed to a Nikkah wedding. This is a small wedding attended by only close relative and friends that lasts for about 2hours.

“The wedding could take place as soon as the bride is paid.” My father said. “He can pay some cash which should cater for the wedding expenses but you have to say what you want for your bride price. Either house furniture or gold jewelry set”

“I don’t want anything. He can just pay the cash amount only and we can get married” I said dryly.

“What? You can’t get married without him paying the bride price in full! It is unheard of” my sisters were shocked.

“Yes I can. It is my wedding and I will do whatever I want. You had yours right? He knows what I want and he will give it to me in due course” That shut them up. I was a very stubborn bride to be and they soon gave up and waited for the wedding day.

I shopped on my own for simple dress that I could wear at the wedding. I did not mind the color as long as it was simple and elegant but affordable. I was not about to spend a fortune on a dress that I was going to wear once. It was ridiculous how businesses reap profits in the name of wedding ceremonies.

I had initially refused to apply heena on my hands and feet. I had seen the struggle during my sister’s wedding. It had literally taken a whole day for her to get it done and we had parted with a lot of money because she was a ‘bride’. I finally decided at the last minute to go alone and got a nice pattern at a price three times cheaper. I never said I was the bride.

• Dress
• shoes
• Heena
• Hair and make up

I called one of my friends who own a saloon and asked her if she knows how to do simple hair and make-up. She said yes. I was good to go.

Ding! My phone showed I had a new message from Kevin.

I was told to bring Halwa. What is that and where can I buy it?

 Is he serious? I typed out a reply.

You have lived in Mombasa all your life and you don’t know what Halwa is?

I really don’t

“Well, it is a sweet delicacy that is taken with black coffee. You have to make an order beforehand. You can get some in town around bondeni.

Ok thanks future wifey!

Bye future hubby! 

Part twenty three

My alarm went off signaling a brand new day. I got off the bed and knelt down in prayers thanking God for letting me see another beautiful day. I got ready and left for work. To me, it was like any other day. I left at 12noon since it was a Saturday.

I went to my house, showered and changed. I carried what I needed in my handbag and headed for the saloon.

“Hi! I am attending a wedding at home. Please make me beautiful. Simple hair and face make up.” I told Munira.

“OK. What the color of your dress?”

“Blue” I showed it to her.

“Nice color. I will do your hair first then finish with make-up.”

I sat down and waited for her to work her magic. I rarely wear make-up myself but I can’t leave the house without applying eye pencil to my eyes.  That was a great sin in Swahili culture as we believe the power in the power of the eyes.

The result was breathtaking, even the other ladies seated in the salon were amazed. She had put my hair up and added some hair extension then combed all of it into a bun. My make-up was simple, just like I wanted. I changed into my blue dress which hugged my figure perfectly although I didn’t have big curves, I was a size eight.  It had a short sleeves and was open at the back. I put my shoes on and was ready to go. I called my closest friend Agnes to come pick me up.

“Wow! You look so stunning! Simple but smart!” Agnes exclaimed when she saw me.

“Thank you dear! Now let’s go get married!”

We arrived at my home and the place was quiet. We got off the car and went inside the house calling out my mum’s name.

“Ma! Am here!”

I found them seated my sister and aunt eating lunch. The look on their faces when they saw me was priceless! They never expected that I would do everything on my own. That I would show up all made up and ready to just sign the marriage certificate.

What happened next was hilarious! It was like a light bulb has just been switched on. They abandoned their food and got up quickly while singing vigelegele .Alililiiii! Harusi tunayo hatunayo! Tunayo! Neighbors started showing up to see what was happening and more singing erupted.  More and more people started showing up. I knew it would escalate quickly so I shot a quick text to Kevin

Hope you are on your way. A lot of people are already here. The more we delay, the more this house will fill up with uninvited guests!!

I received a reply immediately.

On our way my love

I was relieved.

Part twenty four

Kevin soon arrived with his parents and friends. There were more singing outside the house before they were ushered in. I was in another room waiting for the ceremony to start.

The imam soon arrived and the ceremony officiated. My father was my representative and gave my hand away. He was asked if he agreed to marry me off to Iman (this was the Islamic name Kevin chose) and he said yes. Iman was sked if he was in agreement to marry Yusra, he said yes. I was not present here because my dad was my representative but the Imam still has to see me and ask me the same questions before I sign the marriage certificate.  Kevin/Iman was then allowed to come in and see me. His expression gave it all away at the first glance, he could not believe that his dream finally came true.

We took some photos with everyone. I could not imagine where all those people came from, gate crashing it was indeed.

The ceremony felt last it lasted for more than two hours. Pose like this. Look like that. Stand here. Go there. I felt like a peacock on display and it was for this reason that I hated wedding! The wedding was over and Mr. and Mrs. Iman were ready to leave and start the unknown marriage journey which was full of happiness, sadness, compromises and promises.

Before we left, my aunt pulled me aside for the marriage talk.

“My daughter, respect your husband and never test his ego. The only way to a man’s heart is through his stomach which must be attended by none other than you. Feed his hunger and quench his thirst, both in the kitchen and the bedroom, and he will never look like a stray dog moving from one place to another. Wear decent when outside but when inside the house with him, appease his eyes with your beauty and leave the holiness in you outside the door. In there, you are the queen and he must worship you.”

My aunt may have been old fashioned, but I was not going to doubt her years of experience in the field. As much as I was an independent working lady, I left all that at work and transformed into a loving wife at home. I made sure to follow her advice all the way.

Part Twenty five

The first year was blissful. We did not for honeymoon right away since we were both busy at work. But when we did, we revisited the place he once took me in Malindi. We took a boat ride at the Marine park beach and went snorkeling with the fish and feeding them bread. It was awesome.

Six months after the wedding, we decided we were ready for a baby. Soon I was pregnant with a child and Kevin was really happy. He called everyone out of joy. My pregnancy was smooth. No morning sickness. No weird craving. No hating of bae.

I was very keen on saving and insisted that we start saving immediately we found out I was pregnant. It was on my third semester that I informed my family that I would not be assisting anyone financially until I gave birth. I was saving every bit of coin because births were unpredictable.

Sadly, that was when my relationship with my father got ruined. I used to give me a share of my salary every month and one week later, he would still demand for more. I would always look for means to finance his expensive lifestyle and ended up quarreling with my mother.

He could not understand why I refused his demand for money and when he realized that I was serious, he threw abusive words at me and threatened to disown me.

“Your mother is the one that told you not to give money eh? So you have decided that you don’t care about me anymore? If I die then don’t even attend my funeral!”

My pregnancy hormones were high and I would always find myself crying all the time. I finally did what I had to do. I blocked him and kept to myself. I would go to work every morning and come back in the evening. I would cook and do simple house hold chores while I waited for hubby. I concentrated on me and my baby’s wellbeing. The rest could go to hell for all I cared.

Part twenty six

“The baby is breach” my gynecologist said to me.

“What does that mean?”

“Most babies settle into a head-down position, ready for birth, by about the last month of pregnancy. When a baby is positioned bottom-down late in pregnancy, this is called the breech position. “

“So now what?”

“We can wait maybe the baby will change. But this being your first pregnancy, chances are very slim.  Let us give it two weeks to see if there are any changes”

I prayed and did everything I could that may assist the baby to change position but the ultra sound conducted after two weeks did not give good news. I was beginning to get scared as the D-day grew closer.  We discussed our options with the doctor. One, we could wait until I start labor and if the baby is still breech, then I go for emergency C-section.  The challenge would be the charges will be very high. Two, we could opt for planned C-section.

I was getting tired by the day and when the final results of the scan came through, we decided to go for planned C-section.

My hubby and I left the house at around 11 at night and headed to the hospital. We filled out the paper work and got admitted at The Mombasa Hospital. My mother had come earlier at the house to check up on me. She prayed for me and promised to be at the hospital very early in the morning.

I was very nervous but my prayers calmed me down. I had written down my will and wishes the previous day. I had even written down a letter for my baby as well. It was an emotional day for me but I braved on for my unborn baby and kept praying to my God. I was ready for anything.

The nurses came in and I said my goodbye to my hubby. I was then wheeled into the theatre.

“What is your name?”

“Yusra”

“What’s your blood group?’

“O+”

“Just relax. Breath in and out”

“Ok”

“Am going to put this on your mouth and nose. I need you to count to ten. Do you understand?”

“Yes”

“Good”

“One, two, three…….and I blacked out.

Part twenty seven

“Hey, come on, wake up…”

I could hear a voice talking to me but my whole body felt so heavy. I could not even lift an arm.

“Wake up.” I could feel someone slapping my cheeks lightly.

I felt dizzy and sleepy. I struggled to open my eyes and see who was talking to me. I could see bright light above me shining in my eyes. Is this heaven? I asked myself as I struggled to stay awake.

“You have a beautiful baby boy” the voice persisted.

I managed to open my eyes and finally saw who was talking to me. It was my doctor.

“Congratulations Yusra, you have a beautiful baby boy!”

I tried to respond by saying something but no words came to my mouth. I was still in a haze, unable to control my body. I just smiled.

I was wheeled back to my ward. I could see my hubby right beside me on the stretcher. I passed out again immediately I was put into the bed.

I woke up sometime later to voices talking around me. I tried to open my eyes again and luckily, I did not struggle much. My mother, my hubby, my father in law and my sister in law were there. The baby had been taken into the nursery.

“Congratulations my dear!” my father in law said to me happily.

“Thank you”

“How are you feeling?”

“Like a truck has just run through me a hundred time” that was the best explanation that could come up in my mind. The pain in my lower abdomen was just unbearable. I could not turn without wincing. But boy was I glad I came back from the dead!

The baby was soon brought so I could breastfeed him. I took him in my arms and looked at him. He was so tiny and seemed so fragile that I was afraid I would hurt him. He looked back at me with his innocent eyes and I vowed right there and then, to protect him from all the harm in the world. He gave me the strength to endure all the pain I was feeling then.

I was shown how to do breastfeed him and the little fella was soon sucking away!

We stayed at the hospital for three days. My mother insisted on sleeping there at the hospital with me, so hubby would go home at night. Even though she was not of much help as she kept sleeping through the baby’s cries and wailing at night, I was glad she was there with me. I had no complication and my wound was healing fast so we were discharged on the third day.

“So are you going home or back to your house?” my mother asked.

We had earlier discussed that being me being a first time mum, I would stay with my parents for the first forty days so they can help us take care of the baby. But after my fiasco with my father, that was not a wise choice.

“My baby and I are going to my house. I need all the energy I have to take care of my son.” I said excitedly.

“Are you guys ready?” Kevin walked into the ward and kissed my cheek.

“We are more than ready, aren’t we baby?”

“Then let’s go home!”

The end